Alice in Wonderland Short
by madfantic
Summary: a short little screenplay about well you know.


**scene 1 ext woods**

swimming in the air, a roaring school of fish chase Alice waving their axes. Alice runs breathing heavily, her body slowing in exhaustion before tripping on a twig.

 **Scene 2 int Tea party**

she lands on a chair where the Mad Hater's face is directly in front of her, his eyes looking slightly up.

MAD HATTER

Be Quit!

Alice

I haven't said anything.

Hatter turns the direction of his head to Alice's eye level.

MAD HATTER

wasn't talking to you.

ALICE

then who were...

MAD HATTER

That thing above your head

ALICE

my bow?

MAD HATTER

no, under it.

ALICE

my hair?

MAD HATTER

Yes, it wont shut up.

Alice stands perfectly still unaware how to respond. Hatter looks back at her hair.

MAD HATTER

No, I'm not your personal messenger. What's that, you promise to shut up if I tell her.

(Sighs)

very well but you better keep your word.

Hatter turns to Alice with a very stuck up face.

MAD HATTER

Your hair demands cutting.

Hatter looks down at his hands clinging a tea cup.

MAD HATTER

Filthy festers slowly inching!

he thrashes the cup shattering on the ground.

MAD HATTER

Clean cup, move down!

Hatter moves away from Alice giving her a chance to look around. She sees their inside a giant upside down tea cup within a scraggly glade in the center is a large t shape table. Alice sits on a seat at one of it's ends.

she watches the Hatter and March Hare dash to seats in the center (March Hare carries a tea pot where the door Mouse snores is heard). There's a tea set that's shaped in the letter T.

Alice follows them .

ALICE

How did I...

MARCH HARE

would you like some wine?

March Hare hides his face gazing at the table.

ALICE

I cant...

March Hare turns to Alice snickering.

MARCH HARE

we don't have any.

Alice looks up.

ALICE

why is there a giant tea cup above us?

Door mouse leaps out of tea pot running frantically destroying everything around them, March Hare and Mad Hatter chase the door mouse using their tea cups like dog nets.

Door mouse

No way out! Trapped! entombed!Snared! Bushwhacked! Besieged!

Hatter grabs a plate crashing it in the door mouse's face. March Hare scoops him up closing a tea pots lid.

MAD HATTER

How dare you ask such an impenitent question.

ALICE

I don't understand.

MARCH HARE

I expect you to know nothing.

ALICE

What's happening?

MAD HATTER

I'll tell you, it all began last March.

Hatter points his hand at the March Hare.

MAD HATTER

before he went mad, you know.

 **scene 3 Int Queen of hearts throne room**

the thrones designed in hearts covering the wall's furniture etc. which blends with the cards, the Queen and king of hearts sits on a towering throne. large gold ladders lead up to it. the queens throne is the tallest. they look down below using microscopes. They communicate using long pieces of string and tin cans that are attached to their ears down below two other cans hang where a jack of hearts and the Hatter timidly approach. jack kneels picking up a can.

JACK

Your majesty I present for your entertainment The Mad Hatter singing...

QUEEN OF HEARTS

Get on with it!

JACK

Yes your Majesty.

Jack sets up the can like a microphone, nods to the Hatter to begin before fleeing.

MAD HATTER

Twinkle, Twinkle,

King OF HEARTS

blast it. I still cant hear...

the queen of hearts growls down at him. He shuts his mouth.

Mad Hatter's unaware as notes of music visually appear out of his mouth stretching out behind him, the doors are opening time struts in the room with a body of a wooden clock. its dials are shaped as a head between a stubby neck the sides connect to stringy metal arms and legs.

MAD HATTER

Little bat!

How I wonder what your at!

the musical notes wrap around time's throat beginning to choke, unaware Hatter continues

MAD HATTER

up above the world you fly, like a tea tray in the sky...

Times choking intensifies. the Queen of Hearts who's been glaring at the king glances sideways noticing what's happening.

QUEEN OF HEARTS

He's Murdering the time!

Hatter gulps in silence

QUEEN OF HEARTS

Off with his...

The musical notes vanish. time after catching his breath runs toward the queen and king kneeling by the throne. speaking through the cans

Time

Your majesty if you please I would like to punish him myself.

The queen sat in brooding silence.

QUEEN OF HEARTS

since it was your life being attemperd with, you may do what you will with him. But make sure my kingdom still stands another fortnight!

TIME

Yes your majesty.

 **Scene 4 int Tea party**

Speaking gravely.

MAD HATTER

So time drag me...

ALICE

How could time do this?

MAD HATTER

if time can keep track of itself surely its capable of anything.

MARCH HARE

they came to my house where we.

nodding to the door mouse.

MARCH HARE

were having a tea party. Time thrust hatter on our table and then...

MAD HATTER

grabbed a tea cup enlarging it around us. That's why its always tea time.

ALICE

That's awful.

MAD HATTER

but it all makes sense.

ALICE

how do you mean?

MAD HATTER

its the t's, the t's had some thing to do with this. time for tea, tea for time, you cant do both at the same time.

everyone laughs except Alice. a sudden pressure on Alice's head pushes her down screaming.

 **Scene 5 int Alice's throne room**

a giant crown towers through the roof and clouds. crushing Alice's head. the crown seems to shrink her body and Alice's face bleeds. the throne room is barely seen as everything falls apart crashing to the ground. a plethora of foggy bodies flee. Alice stretches out her hands in desperation.

ALICE

help!

a vague figure comes closer. a coughing walking fish knells in a grave gravel voice.

fish

your majesty the caucus race has began.

ALICE

get me out of here!

FISH

how heavy the crown that drowns the fish.

waves of the ocean flood Alice as her body shifts to a fish.

 **Scene 6 int ocean**

Suddenly a room of corral holds a pack of sea creatures sitting on there desks. speaking in whisper shouts. Alice sits pouting.

ALICE

I don't want to be at school.

a bell rings as a turtle opens and closes a corral door standing before the class. holding a pearl suitcase and a seashell staff that taps the floor.

TORTOISE

that's enough.

everyone's silence.

TORTOISE

now today's lesson is how to lessen yourself.

Alice who wasn't paying much attention up to this point starts to as the teacher continues.

TORTOISE

to do that you must first understand how a body operates.

opening the suitcase the turtle pulls out a roll sheet of paper unrolling it, it reveals a fishes body split into many screw parts.

TORTOISE

as you can see from this diagram you can unscrew any part of your body, observe.

using its feet the turtle grabs hold of his head and slowly unscrews it as squeaky metal noises are heard the head detaches lifted up in the air for all to see.

TORTOISE

now its your turn...

a school bell rings. the students snatch the teachers head.

 **Scene 7 ext an open field underwater**

They use it as a football as the head screams.

ALICE

stop it, your hurting him!

student

mind your own business.

Alice rushes for the head

Student 2

Get her!

The school of fish chases her.


End file.
